no more boobies

I didn’t think it’d be this hard.

I never thought I’d make it this long, and I know it’s time, but. . .

It’s killing me.

This morning, at 5 a.m., Liv screamed for 15 solid minutes. I had a sippy cup full of milk ready to go, and she shoved it away several times. Nothing was going to replace mama’s boob. Nothing.

“I can do this” was my mantra in my head, but I kept holding her and telling her I was sorry. “There’s no more milk, baby. I’m just a pacifier now. It’s time to stop.”

our first day of this journey, almost 14 months ago

After 15 minutes, I think she got it. She grabbed her sippy cup, took a big drink, and cuddled into my chest, and fell back asleep. All the crying had worn her out, and it did something else to. It made me realize how precious these fourteen months have been and how blessed I was to be able to nurse my daughter for so long. It made me realize how much I am going to miss that emotional bond that started when she was just hours hold.

But we are doing this together, and as much as it hurts that we are both letting go, I know my little girl is growing into an amazing, fun, beautiful toddler that I can now bond with over something we both love to do. . .eat. . .(solid food, of course).

This post is included in the “Mommy Confession Link Up” hosted by The Browsing Brunette. Add yours here.

14 comments for “no more boobies

  1. July 21, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    Oh, how I have been there- 3 times. I had to stop very early on with my daughter, my firstborn, because I had production issues. It broke my heart. And as much as I hated losing sleep when I was nursing my twin boys, when the time came to wean, once again, it was very difficult. Just remember how you gave her the best start in life possible and now you get to see her move on to a very fun stage in life- the toddler stage! Time just goes way too fast, doesn’t it?!

    • July 22, 2012 at 2:31 am

      It really does speed by! Thanks for your words of encouragement. It always helps to hear from someone who has been there.

  2. July 21, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    Thanks for linking up!!! YaY for growing toddlers 🙂

  3. July 21, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    That is a wonderful post, it’s hard I agree but once they start their toddler years (which is where my daughter is), there is so much you can bond over! My daughter and I cuddle in bed every morning she comes into my room, gets in my bed and rubs my hair, asks me to tickle her back, play with her hair, to hold her… There’s those times when she wants me to leave her along, lol but all that goes away when she wants mom! Children are so special… I am so blessed to have experianced everything I have, and look forward to so much more… It’s crazy the way our children just take our breath away make us stop and realize so much how much they change us… Thank yor for your post it is amazing and I think something so many mothers can releate to.

    • July 22, 2012 at 2:32 am

      Thank you, Jenn! I can’t believe how lucky I am to have my little girl and her older brother in my life.

  4. July 22, 2012 at 7:35 pm

    It’s wonderful that you were able to do it as long as you did. I worked full-time with my oldest 2. I tried, I only made it 4 months with my oldest and 2 months with my 2nd. After I returned to work from maternity leave I didn’t have the time I needed to pump at work and of course my milk production slowed and eventually nothing. Don’t feel bad that you don’t do it anymore, feel good that you did the best for your baby for as long as you did do it. I used to feel bad expecially about my 2nd that I could only do for 2 months. When the nurse came around on a home visit with my 3rd she asked me if I had nursed before and for how long. I told her and she said “don’t say only you did”

  5. July 24, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    CONGRATS!! Getting through the milestones of our children is sometimes harder on us than the kiddos I think! You’re doing a great job keep it up!!

    Following you from Bloggy Moms! Hope you can follow back!

    • July 24, 2012 at 5:15 pm

      I would be happy to follow. Thanks for visiting and your kind words!

  6. July 25, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    Exactly how I felt after nursing Abby. It was a most wonderful 16 months and something that I wouldn’t trade a day for. I only wished I could have had that same experience with Garrett. Love you!

  7. mj
    August 24, 2012 at 6:49 am

    As old as I am can I still say I miss that time too, you are so right that it is a special bonding time for mommy and baby. Plus some of the benefits that only women get from nursing, won’t post here. ttyl

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